So – what do you do when you find out that not only do you have a haunting, but the haunter is a perverted, homophobic, jerk? In other words, what do you do when your ghost sucks? That is the question we are asking ourselves after the culmination of the investigation by and airing of “Carriage House Creeper” on the Travel Channel show Kindred Spirits.
The first thing I must say is that Amy (Bruni) and Adam (Berry) – the chief investigators – along with the entire crew, are the kindest and most competent team we could have asked for. The investigation and research was incredibly thorough, and the filming (four whole nights and a half-day) was efficient and didn’t disrupt our lives at all. There were SO many things discussed and discovered that didn’t make it into the episode … but that is a discussion for another day.
Today, I’d like to ponder the question of the creep who is in residence in the carriage house – and how to deal with him. It would be awesome to be able to say that Adam and Amy were the only “victims” of his temper, but just last week our guests reported having extreme anxiety-provoking dreams as well as having possessions go missing. And that was just the last week. I assume that most people don’t report weird things that happen during their stay, and until the episode aired we didn’t tell people about the reported haunting or specific activity. If there was an experience, we wanted the guest to tell us about it spontaneously … to say, “Your ghost sucks.”
But this guy – and he is a dude – is not only creepy, he is a homophobe. And a pervert. I wanted to sink through the floor when he used an LGBT-related slur towards Adam, and poor Amy had to stop listening to his garbage after he talked about naked three-ways. I almost always get the creeps when cleaning the room(s) there, but now I know it isn’t an eerie-creepy, but a lecherous-creepy.
The advice we got is to handle him like we would handle any living creepy guy … tell him we won’t put up with his BS and to leave us alone. The thing is … do we really stand up and confront people like this, or are we in general more compliant and less confrontational? When we are faced with a situation where someone says or does something that makes us uncomfortable, are we more likely to ignore it and walk away (or change the subject) than to call out the behavior as offensive and wrong?
All I know is that when that advice was given in such a simple, matter-of-fact, straight forward way, I felt a twinge of discomfort and doubt. Could I actually do that? It wasn’t until we purchased the inn – and then it took a couple of years – before I finally felt comfortable calling people out who were breaking the rules. And those were well-discussed, publicly posted, non-negotiable rules. Is it a woman thing? A Southern thing? Is it because I’m generally a peace-maker?
But let’s face it – this jerk is DEAD. Literally. So the answer is yes I can. Amy and Adam handled his BS with poise and grace … even when it got personal. Chelsea made a deal with him years ago and never puts up with his crap. That gives me hope for the future, and pride that I raised a daughter who is stronger than me. She has inspired me to set boundaries with the dead AND the living.
So next time you have to deal with a creepy, homophobic ghost who sucks, remember that you DO have the power to stand up for yourself. And that is true even if the creeper is among the living.
Peace out, y’all – I promise the next entry will be light-hearted and fun 🙂
And you can book Carriage House C for your very own haunted stay. If you dare.